Endless - Manhattan Knights Series Book Three Page 14

  The groan that escapes her lips is raw and sexy and filled with desire.

  “I think that you haven’t found a Dom that can satisfy your needs. You have that Italian fire inside you, and it tears you apart sometimes. I’ve seen your submissive side, and it is… exquisite. But, there is a side to you that doesn’t want to give complete control over to me. Maybe not to any man. I don’t know what fuels that, but I want to find out. You seem to be at war with those opposing sides to your personality. I can understand that. I tried to be someone I wasn’t last year. I tried to hide my true dominance from you, prepared to leave it all behind to be with you. In the end, that’s part of the reason it didn’t work between us. I was unable to exercise my nature to its fullest extent in my pursuit of you. It almost broke me. So, until you decide what you want, I can’t help you. After a long year of soul searching, I know exactly what I want now. Do you know what you want, Vittoria?”

  Her voice is a low whisper, but full of that fire that I was talking about. “I want to be yours. I want to give myself over to you completely, Master Fitzgerald.”

  “I want to believe you. So badly. But, I can’t shake the feeling that you’re not ready to submit. You see my love for you as a weakness. One that you can exploit. That couldn’t be further from the truth. The fact that I have been in love with you for so long, is my strength. It is the reason that I will never exercise anything other than complete control with you. You’re too important to me. I have stayed away from you all these years because I felt it was best for you. Now, I’m not so sure.”

  I hold her gaze for what seems like hours, searching for the answer I need.

  “So… which is it? Are you spoiled, a Dominatrix that thinks she can change me, or are you an unruly submissive?”

  “The last one. I want to submit to you, Logan…”

  “Logan? That has just earned you ten spanks.”

  I stand from the chair and flip her onto her stomach, careful not to aggravate her injury.

  “Present your ass to me, Vittoria.” She lifts herself onto her knees, pushing her ass into the air, her head resting on the bed. “Good girl.”

  I gently rub each cheek before I administer the first blow. “I don’t punish for no reason, and I never punish excessively, but you need some basic training. After every slap, I want you to say “Thank you, Master Fitzgerald. It will remind you to address me appropriately.”

  The first slap is always the sweetest. The feel of her soft, naked flesh connecting with the warmth of my palm; the crisp sound and the tingling sensation that radiates across my hand. “That’s one.”

  Her anticipation, followed by surprise, is so fucking satisfying. “Thank you, Master Fitzgerald.”

  The second hit has the blood rising to the surface below her skin, a sexy blush spreading over her cheeks. “Two.”

  Her body shivers. “Thank you, Master Fitzgerald.”

  With each slap, her ass grows redder, her breath quickening, and my dick hardening to steel in my pants. I can tell she’s enjoying this, but there is just enough bite to remind her of why I’m doing it. As soon as my hand connects with her firm, supple skin for the last time, she lets out a satisfied groan followed by her almost screaming the words I commanded. “Thank you, Master Fitzgerald.”

  I slide my hand between her legs; the evidence of her arousal dripping down the inside of her thighs. She tries to writhe against my hand, her frustration evident as I leave her wanting. She watches as I lower my head and lap up every last drop; her moans of pleasure setting my blood on fire, but I don’t reward her with my tongue where she needs it most. “You taste like heaven. Remember this frustrated feeling. Every time you defy me, I will punish you. You enjoy the punishment more than you should, so I will also withhold your orgasms.”

  She slumps down onto the bed, squirming to try and alleviate the pressure that is building to a fever pitch between her legs, to no avail. I flip her over onto her back and wait, giving her time to slow her breathing and regain her composure before I speak.

  “This is my proposal to you. I will not take you as my 24/7 submissive, and not as my sexual sub, until...” I can see her eyes light up at that one little word. “Until… you can prove yourself. If you comply, and adhere to my training over the next month, then and only then, will I even consider taking this further.” I start to untie her, loosening the knots and massaging the skin underneath. When her hands are free, I sit down on the bed beside her and pull her into my lap.

  “I need to know that you’re serious about this. If you’re not, if you just want me to fuck you and move on, then I need you to tell me. If we do this, I’m risking losing everything for you. The only real family I’ve ever had… and you. If you don’t think you can do this, then you need to tell me and we can both walk away from this right now.”

  She places her small warm hand on my cheek, pulling my face down toward hers, forcing me to look at her. “May I speak freely, Master Fitzgerald?”

  “Yes, and you can call me Logan.”

  Her other hand moves up to cup my face. “Logan... I am all in. I’m very serious about this. I’ve never been more serious about anything, other than ballet. I want to be with you. I want to be yours. I know what you’re risking if you choose to go down this route with me. I don’t take that lightly. I can’t promise that it will be easy, or that I won’t mess up. There are… things… that you don’t know about me, that I’m not ready to share with you yet, and I may never be ready. I don’t want you to see me differently. I love the way you look at me, and risking that changing, is something I can’t live with. Can you understand that? Can you deal with there being some things that I can’t tell you right now, things that might affect the way I respond to situations, or the way I act at times?”

  Her eyes are thick with unshed tears.

  “What happened to you?” Her gaze drops, and I pull her hands from my face, grasping them tight. “Look at me.” She does as I ask, a single tear rolling down her cheek, breaking my heart. “I can deal with it, for you, but only if you promise that you will try to work on it, and tell me when you’re ready. I need you to trust me, otherwise this isn’t going to work. I’m not asking for immediate 100% trust. I know I need to earn it, as do you. Can you promise that you will try to work toward telling me at some point?” She nods her head, defeated. “I need to hear you say it.”

  “Yes. I will do my best to get there. To tell you someday, but, please don’t stop looking at me the way you do. Don’t stop loving me. Don’t give up on me.” I search her face, wondering who hurt her; what happened to make her so insecure. It’s a rare moment to see her show any vulnerability, and it humbles me.

  “I promise you now, that I will never give up on you, Vittoria. Cling to that, in your darkest moments, when I can’t be by your side, know that I could never give up.” I claim her lips, pouring every ounce of raw emotion that I feel into this intense connection. Her body relaxes against mine, her lips parting, inviting me in. I dart my tongue into her mouth, exploring, caressing; tasting her sweet lips. The feel of her tongue stroking mine is divinity in motion. I fist my hands in her hair, holding her where I need her, forcing her to take more of me, and taking everything that she offers me in return.

  Her hands are clawing at my back when I break our kiss, resting my forehead against hers. I breathe her in, letting my pulse return to some semblance of normality. “You’re mine now. My submissive in training. I will not make love to you for the next four weeks. It might kill me, but if we have any chance of this working, I need to separate how fucking turned on I feel when I’m around you, from how we interact as Dom/sub. There are no guarantees that we can make this work, and even if we do, we have so many hurdles to get over.” I pull away, letting her see how serious I am. “I won’t lie to Carter. At the end of the month, if I decide that I can be the Master you need me to be, then I’m going to tell him. No secrets, no lies. If we do this, it’s all or nothing. I can’t risk fucking this up again, and I promise that
I won’t leave if he doesn’t accept it. I will walk away… with you. It’s you and me now, for as long as you’ll have me.”

  “I don’t want to hide anymore, either. I will do whatever you feel is best. I want this.” She gives me a slow, sensual, but chaste kiss. “How will this work for the next four weeks?”

  “Let me worry about that. You just relax and get some rest. It’s been a tiring afternoon and you need to get your strength up.” I lay her down on the bed, pulling the sheets up to cover her. “Do you need anything?”

  “A glass of water and my painkillers.”

  I fetch a bottle of water from the fridge and return to find her eyes heavy, almost asleep. “Here you go. Now rest, my beautiful Nyx.”

  She pops two tablets on her tongue and takes a sip of water. Her voice is sleepy and sexy as hell as she speaks. “Why did you call me Nyx? You’ve called me that before.”

  I run my hand over her sleek, dark hair. “I’ll explain later. Get some rest. I have some work to do, I’ll be back in a few hours with dinner.” I kiss her forehead, draw the curtains, and close the door gently behind me.

  “This place is so fuckin’ amazin’, Logan! We cannae get o’er how fan-fucking-tastic it is! The boys are goin’ mental for it. I dinnae think they’ve slept more than two hours since we got here.”

  I can barely understand Campbell when he’s excited. He’s the lead singer of Flaming Embers, and he has a thick Glasgow accent. Usually he remembers to slow down and not use as much slang around me, but on days like today, he’s too excited and he’s talking at rapid speed. It almost sounds like he’s speaking a completely different language.

  “Remember, you’ve got to learn to calm the accent down a bit here. Otherwise, Rolling Stone won’t be able to get any quotes for an interview!”

  “Shut the fuck up, man! You serious? You think a bunch o’ twats like us could make it that big here in the U.S. of A?”

  I really like this guy. He’s only twenty-one, but he’s lived a tough life in a rough part of Glasgow. He’s fought for everything that he has, and he appreciates every good thing that comes his way. He’s genuine, and in this business, that’s a rare commodity. “Only if you stop referring to the band as ‘a bunch of twats!’”

  “Ha-fuckin’-ha! Duly noted!”

  “Okay. So, we need to get the rest of the guys rounded up and have a talk about what I have planned for you over the next few weeks. Are they all here?”

  “Sure. Hang on.” He disappears, but I can hear his low, strong rolling brogue from here. “Get yer arses out here, lads. Logan’s wantin’ to talk shop. This ain’t a free ride, ya losers!”

  They all come tumbling into the kitchen and I take a moment to look them over. Every teenage girl in America is going to swoon over these guys. They’re all so different, in personality and appearance, but each has a charm and sex appeal that is a prerequisite if you want to be successful in the music business these days. It’s a sad fact, but it’s not all about your talent, which these boys also have in spades.

  Campbell’s songwriting skills blew me away the first time I saw them in action, and his voice is… haunting. His low rasp loses the harsh accent, and transforms into something truly spectacular. He is an artist in his own right, but he would never sellout his friends for a solo deal, even if it meant never getting to live out his dream. The band as a whole, have a great energy on stage, and they have a strong indie following already, including Lily!

  When I arranged for the boys to perform in London so Xander and Lily could see them perform, Xander called me the next day, completely blown away by how good they were. I knew then that I was onto a game changer for my label. He was eager to help bring them to the U.S. and endorse their first album. He’s been a great help with the business side of things, and I’m certain that I can use my experience to take them to the next level.

  “How the fuck are you, Logan!? Thought you were goin’ tae party wi’ us last night, brother!” The other boys seem to speak in unison, and it makes me laugh. “It was fuckin’ epic.”

  “I had… a prior engagement. I’m not here to get drunk with you, I’m here to turn you into rock stars. You ready for that?”

  As one, all five guys shout, “HELL FUCKIN’ YAS!”

  “First thing’s first, calm down the cursing boys! I can’t market you to the screaming high school girls of America with every second word out of your mouth being ‘FUCK.’”

  Campbell is the natural leader of the group being the front man, and he takes that roll seriously.

  “Sorry, Logan. We’ll keep the swearin’ tae a minimum, at least in public. This actually is the lads holdin’ back. You should try holdin’ a conversation wi’ any one o’ their da’s. They’d make a sailor blush.”

  “I’m not saying cut it out, girls love a bad boy, just rein it in a little for the press and when you’re working with people. You want to put your best foot forward, and make people want to work with you. I have you scheduled to start laying down tracks in the studio in two days. I want you to get some rest; some actual sleep. Sober up at least a little, and be ready for the car to pick you up at 10 a.m. on Monday.”

  “I’m ready, man. I was born ready for this shit! I promise we won’t let you down.”

  “I know you won’t. I wouldn’t have brought you here if I didn’t think you could cut it. Just try to keep each other grounded, and don’t get carried away with all the trappings. It’s about the music, and if you stay true to that, everything else will follow. I’ll make sure of that.”

  “We cannae thank you enough. Seriously. None of us thought for a second, that we would ever get out o’ Glasgow. Meeting wi’ you in Edinburgh was a reprieve from our sad fuckin’ lives. This… this is… I dinnae even have the words tae thank you enough.”

  I stand from the table and give him a slap on the shoulder. “Don’t thank me yet. You have a long road ahead of you, but you deserve this, Campbell. You’re a talented son of a bitch. Now, I have to go to the office and make sure everything’s in place for Monday.”

  All of the guys are shouting goodbye as I make my way out to the lobby. Campbell follows me out.

  “You okay, big man? You seem a bit off today. Everything okay wi’ the deal?”

  “It’s all good, Cam. Personal stuff. You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you!”

  “Woman trouble?”

  “Isn’t it always?” He’s a perceptive guy. Wise beyond his years. “I’ll see you Monday.”

  “Later, man.”

  I close the door behind me, and head to my office. A reprieve before heading back to Vittoria’s apartment. I could do what I need to get done on my laptop, but I need some time to clear my head, to grasp the gravity of what I have agreed to with her.

  As I sit in my office, quiet and deserted, I contemplate my afternoon - Vittoria, Carter, what this all means. Their parents have practically adopted me as one of their own over the past nine years. Losing them would be hard, and as if he knows I’m thinking about him, my phone lights up with a message from Carter.

  Carter: Drinks? Cube 8 p.m.

  Me: Can’t tonight, bro.

  Carter: Stop banging your latest sex slave and come have a drink with me and Xander.

  Me: You’re a dick. Working. Maybe this week sometime?

  Carter: I have a HUGE dick! You’re a loser. Will text you this week. Blow me off again and I’ll beat the shit out of you.

  Me: You wish! Fuck off! Tell Xander I said hi.

  I hate lying to him, even if it’s in a text. This is exactly what I told Vittoria I didn’t want to happen. If I’m going to make it work with her, I need to be honest with him. The reality is that he’s going to freak out and try to kill me rather than let me date her. We’ve been down this road once before, and it didn’t end well for us.

  I think my days as his friend are numbered, but she’s worth it.

  The past three weeks have been amazing and torturous at the same time. I’ve spent most nights with Vittoria a
t her apartment, sleeping next to her, but not with her. I had planned on staying in the guest room, but I’m too drawn to her, and when we realized that her nightmares stop when I’m beside her, I couldn’t refuse her request as her Dom. It’s what’s best for her right now, even though it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. My level of self-control has been tested to its limit. Night after night with her curled up in my arms, her breasts pressed against my chest, her leg thrown over my thighs. It’s a beautiful kind of agony. Every minute of every day, I ache to be inside her.

  The first week, I kissed her, licked her, made her come with my fingers, but I never let her touch me. Even then, it was too difficult. Trying to train her without being able to really take her, is new territory for me. I may be a Master, but I usually have all my… skills, at my disposal. Sex is a powerful incentive, and a strong bonding mechanism between a Dom and his sub. Taking that deepest of connections out of the equation has forced me to employ other tactics.

  After that first week, I had to stop even the foreplay, it was too confusing for her. She kept expecting more, and when I didn’t give it to her, she got frustrated and lashed out at me. It made her insecure, questioning my attraction to her. I felt like I was punishing her for my own shortcomings. In the end, I discussed it with her and told her that until the four weeks were up, there would be no orgasms, other than the ones I allow her to give herself while I watch. No kissing. She pleaded with me, begging me to touch her, but that just showed me that she needs the training more than ever. She needs to respect my decisions and trust that I know what to do for the best. She doesn’t understand that it’s just as difficult for me. Every inch of her body was made for me, calling to me like a siren; whether she’s sitting across from me at the dinner table, watching TV on the couch with her legs in my lap, or tucked against my side in her sleep. I want her.

  She still won’t talk to me about what terrorizes her during the night, but I think she’s beginning to trust me more. She seems more rested and happier in herself these days, and I would like to think that our burgeoning relationship has something to do with that. The fact that I can see a difference in her at night, is what I cling to. It’s what’s keeping me sane.