Endless - Manhattan Knights Series Book Three Page 15

  I feel like I’m slowly losing my mind. I’ve always been a very sexually aware kind of guy, but this is getting ridiculous. I can barely function! When I’m at the studio with the band, I find myself getting lost in fantasies of having Vittoria in my playroom; the things I plan to do to her. I think I spend more than half my time trying to hide a semi.

  Punishment has been almost a daily occurrence. She has such a fiery personality. I like to change things up, and I now know that the best way to punish her, is to deny her. Last week, I cuffed her to the dining chair and made her watch as I pleasured myself. She couldn’t touch herself, and her legs were also cuffed, so she couldn’t even press her legs together to alleviate the pressure. By the time I came all over her pretty blue skirt, she was promising me anything I asked if I would just let her come. I didn’t. That was hell for me, as well as her. I wanted to drop to my knees and lap at her glistening folds, to feel her come apart beneath the flick of my tongue.

  Thankfully, I think we’re getting somewhere now. It’s a fine line training her to submit, without breaking the spirit in her that I fell in love with. As a Master, I must learn the limits of my sub. People have preconceived ideas about BDSM. They think it’s a purely sexual thing, but it goes so much deeper than that. My main concern is always for her wellbeing. That pertains to every aspect of her life, not just her orgasms. I need to know that I am doing everything in my power to make sure she is safe, happy and healthy.

  Our situation has been further complicated by the fact that we have known each other for such a long time, and the intense emotion between us has been there from the start. Usually that depth of feeling grows over time. In reality, I have never felt that way about any of my subs. These are unchartered waters for me.

  Vittoria’s injury is getting better every day. I’ve been careful not to let her push herself back to dancing too soon, because I know that she misses it, and that’s precisely why she needs to take her time, to avoid any long-term damage. She’s off her crutches, with a light bandage still in place, and her pain meds are down to a minimum.

  Last week we were invited to Verona’s first birthday party, which was interesting. Vittoria made me promise not to speak to Carter about us because she was worried he would react badly, and unintentionally ruin his little girl’s birthday. It didn’t sit well with me, but I respected her wishes. To be honest, I’ve been avoiding Carter, and even at the party, I kept my interaction with him to a minimum. A lie of omission still feels like a lie, and until I knew for sure that she really wants this, I didn’t want to cause another family feud, but D-Day has arrived.

  My thoughts are interrupted by Vittoria at my back. She wraps her arms around my neck. “What’s got that frown line working overtime on your forehead?”

  I take her hands in mine, lacing our fingers. “I need to talk to Carter. I need to tell him that we’re seeing each other.”

  “I thought you wanted to wait until the four weeks are up? Until you decide where we go from here?”

  “I think we both know where this is headed, don’t you? I need to be honest with him before we move forward.”

  She practically chokes me to death trying to hug me. “Does that mean we don’t have to wait until next week for the sex?”

  “No. It means that when next week comes around, and we reach the date I set, I am going to split you in two. You won’t be able to walk properly for days when I’m done with you.”

  “Promises, promises, Master Fitzgerald.”

  I pull her down over my shoulder, lift her skirt, and give her a sharp spank. “Keep that up and I’ll make you wait another week.”

  “You wouldn’t?”

  “Wouldn’t I?”

  “Aren’t you even a little frustrated?” Frustrated does not even come close to describing how badly I want to be inside her.

  “That’s not your concern. Let’s just get through this week.”

  She twists her body over and down into my lap, her lips just millimeters from my own. It’s been two weeks since I felt those plush lips against my own, since I felt her tongue perform a sensual dance with mine. Her eyes switch between holding my gaze and devouring my lips with her penetrating stare. She darts her tongue out to wet her lips, making them all the more inviting. I want to kiss her so badly, but I know that kissing will turn into touching, and touching will turn into me ripping her clothes off and making love to her right here on my desk. I don’t know how much longer I can hold back. I let myself breathe her in for a brief moment, letting her see the desire in my eyes, before I gently remove her from my lap and sit her on top of the desk.

  “You better be prepared for me in seven days’ time.” My voice is laced with promise and a hint of menace. I can see the excitement spark in her eyes, and I know that when I finally take her, I won’t be the one that owns her… she will own me. I will never get enough of her.

  Vittoria has a doctor’s appointment this afternoon, and she insisted that I go to the office for a while. She thinks I’ve been neglecting my work for her over the past few weeks. She’s not wrong, but she’s my priority, and with that in mind I message her brother.

  Me: Got time to meet up? Need to talk.

  Carter: Cube, in an hour?

  Me: See you there.

  I guess it’s now or never.

  Cube is eerie during the day. The smell of stale beer from years of people having a good time, night after night, clings to every surface. It’s like a ghost town, except for a few members of staff who are in setting up for the night ahead. One of them nods at me to go to the back office, and I can’t help feeling like I’m walking the green mile as I slowly make my way to the end of the hall.

  I knock the door before opening it to find Carter engrossed in some boring looking paperwork.

  “Hey, man. Is this a bad time?”

  He looks up, somewhat relieved. “This is perfect timing. I need a break from all this shit. I fucking hate the paper trail that comes with running clubs. Even though I hired a manager to oversee everything, I like to come in occasionally and get myself up to speed.”

  I take a seat across from him. “How’s the family?”

  He sits back with a smug, satisfied grin on his face. “They are fucking amazing. I never thought I would be this guy. Happy as a pig in shit, with an amazing girlfriend and a kid. I fucking love it.”

  “I’m really happy for you, bro. You deserve it. You and Xander really hit the jackpot.”

  “Yeah. He’ll never let me forget that he’s the reason I met Addison, though. Smug bastard!”

  We share a few laughs and catch up. I get shown at least thirty pictures of baby Verona on his phone, but I’m happy to see them. She’s adorable, and she’s a de Rossi woman. I know how irresistible they can be.

  Finally, he remembers that I asked to come and talk with him. “So, what’s going on? What do you need to talk about?”

  I pause for a moment, wondering how to phrase this; how best to soften the blow, and minimize the fallout that will inevitably follow. In the end, I figure, direct and to the point is all that I can do.

  “I’m in love with Vittoria.”

  “What the fuck?” I can see his anger building as he stares me down, his hands balling into fists on the table.

  “Hear me out.”

  “You have exactly five minutes to convince me why I shouldn’t beat the shit out of you right now.”

  “Fine. If that’s what you need to do, then so be it. But, it won’t change the fact that I’m in love with her.” I can hear him grinding his teeth, fighting to stay in his seat.

  “I wasn’t lying when I came to you last year and told you that I broke it off with her after the dinner at your apartment. I didn’t want to come between the two of you. You know that I consider you family, and your parents feel like my own. I would have been lost all these years without you guys. BUT… and it’s a big but… Vittoria has always been special to me. I’ve been in love with her forever. I stayed away as long as I could, becaus
e I never wanted to lose you as a friend, and when I walked away from her last year, it just about killed me. I’ve been fucking miserable without her.”

  I watch his face soften ever so slightly, knowing that he’s experienced that level of loss and misery.

  “We met by chance on a flight to London last month, and we started talking again. My feelings for her haven’t changed, Carter. If anything, I’m more in love with her than I’ve ever been.”

  “So, you’ve been fucking her for a month behind my back? What’s this then, a fucking courtesy call?” And then it dawns on him. “You two were together at Verona’s party last week? You were sneaking around at my daughter’s first fucking birthday party??”

  He stands from the table

  “Sit the fuck down, Carter. I haven’t ‘fucked’ her, and if you ever speak about her like that again, I will fucking end you.”

  “I’d like to see you try.”

  “Just sit down and shut the fuck up until I’m done.”

  He grabs a bottle of Jack from the cabinet behind his desk and pours himself a glass before sitting back down. “Talk, fast.”

  “Firstly, yes, we were together last week, but Vittoria didn’t want to take any of the focus away from Verona’s day. She adores that little girl, and wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize her happiness. Secondly, I’ve never slept with her. Not when we were together a year ago, and not now. Not that it’s any of your fucking business. I’m serious about her. She’s it for me. I wanted to be sure that I could be the man she needs me to be, before we take that step. I know that if I cross that line with her, there will be no going back. If I lost her after that, I would never recover. Surely, you can understand that? After everything that happened when you and Addi were trying to figure things out.”

  “Don’t compare this to me and Addi. You want to fuck my sister. MY SISTER!”

  “FOR FUCK’S SAKE! I want to be with her, build a life with her, and protect her from anything that could ever hurt her. She’s my fucking world! If I never have sex with her, she’ll still be the fucking ONE!”

  “But…”

  “No fucking buts. I love her. She loves me back. I want what you and Xander have. Someone to share my life with. I’ve denied myself that for so long, because no one has ever measured up to her.”

  “You’ve not denied yourself anything. You’ve been a fucking controlling man-whore for years.”

  I can’t disagree with him.

  “You’ve fucked more women than I ever will, but here you are with an amazing girlfriend and the cutest kid on the planet. The reason I acted the way I did, was because I was trying to get over Vittoria. But it never happened. She’s always been the one, she’s always going to be, the one. I don’t want to lose you as a friend, and I really don’t want to cause a fallout between you and Tori again, but I can’t give up this chance for you. I did it a year ago, and it was the wrong decision. I know the risk I’m taking here, but she’s worth it.”

  He scrubs his hands over his face. A look of defeat in his eyes.

  “Fuck! Fucking, fuck! You’re such a dick, Logan. Of all the women in Manhattan, why the fuck did you have to fall for my little sister?”

  “Trust me. If I could have clicked my fingers and been in love with someone else, I would have done it years ago. She’s amazing. You know that. I would do anything for her, and I will never hurt her, or betray her. There is no one else on earth for me. I need you to be okay with this, because Vittoria will never be truly happy if you’re not.”

  “That’s a low blow. You know that I would do anything to see her happy.” He swallows his drink in one gulp before slamming the glass down on the table. “I fucking hate you right now, but… if she wants to be with you, then I won’t stand in your way.”

  I let out the breath I’ve been holding for the past five minutes. “Thanks, man.”

  “But, remember this. If you ever so much as make her cry, I will hunt you down and cut your balls off.”

  “Fair enough.” It’s better than I expected from this discussion. “Are we good?”

  “No! But we will be. I need some time to wrap my head around this, and try to curb my instinct to beat the shit out of you for laying so much as a finger on her. I’ll get there, eventually. I want Vittoria to be happy, and despite my aversion to you dating her, I want you to be happy, too. I’d just rather it was with someone else’s sister.”

  I can’t help but laugh. He’s an arrogant fucker sometimes, but he loves Vittoria, and the fact that he can put aside his own feelings and give us a chance, shows how much Addi and Verona have changed him.

  “I appreciate that. I’m sure I’d feel the same way if I had a sister. Thank you, though. This will mean a lot to Vittoria, and it means a lot to me.”

  He pours another drink, except this time he grabs a second glass and pours one for me.

  “Here’s to us.” He hands me the glass. “To you not fucking up, and to me not killing you.”

  “Cheers.”

  We share a few drinks, and manage to steer the conversation back to lighter topics, but I don’t want to overstay my welcome, I know this is hard for him.

  When I stand to leave, he asks me when I’m seeing her again.

  “I’m seeing her tonight, actually.”

  “Tell her to come and see me while she’s still in town. I need to talk to her about her appalling taste in men.”

  “You’re a dick.”

  “Yeah, well now I have good reason to be a dick to you.”

  “Touché. I’ll tell her to swing by. I’ll talk to you soon. Thanks again.”

  “Fuck off before you start crying like a girl.”

  I walk out with renewed purpose. There’s nothing standing in the way now. Vittoria and I can be together, for real, in public, and she doesn’t have to choose between me and her relationship with her brother.

  Her happiness and well-being will always be my number one priority, and this is a huge step in the right direction for us as we move forward.

  Vittoria was so happy when I told her about my conversation with Carter today, and so relieved. In truth, so was I. I relayed our conversation, leaving out all of his crass insinuations. I think we both felt like a weight had been lifted, and in the end, I just couldn’t stand not to touch her anymore, to feel her come apart for me.

  Hours later and too many orgasms to count, I lie awake next to her, content to watch the rise and fall of her chest. The peaceful sleep of a satisfied submissive. I’ve missed seeing the beautiful flush of her cheeks after I’ve taken her to the edge and let her bask in wave after wave of ecstasy. There were no punishments tonight, no bondage, and no toys, only us. Two people exploring each other’s bodies, giving and receiving pleasure, over and over again until we collapsed in a heap of sweaty, sated limbs.

  I trace the lines of her face with my fingers; her stunning cheekbones, her perfectly pouty lips, her long, lush eyelashes that kiss her cheeks. She looks so angelic, like a goddess.

  “I’m glad you sorted things out with Carter.”

  “I thought you were asleep. Did I wake you?”

  “No. I’m just resting. A devil of a man wore me out.” She keeps her eyes closed; a mischievous grin spreading across her face.

  “A devil, you say?” My hand trails down her neck, edging beneath the sheet that covers her sweet, sexy curves.

  “I do.”

  “You have no idea just how devilish I can be, Nyx. Just you wait.”

  “Why do you call me Nyx? You never did get around to telling me.”

  I prop my head up on my hand. “Nyx was the goddess of the night; of darkness. She was the mother of creation; said to be so powerful and her beauty so exquisite, that even Zeus himself feared her. She was only ever seen in glimpses; found in the shadows.”

  “Am I the darkness?” She looks pained.

  “No, Vittoria. You are not the darkness. Why would you think that?”

  “Because I’m not good enough for you. I’m damaged g
oods. The things you don’t know about me – a darkness inside me that eats away at any good there is.”

  I take her face in my hand. “I wish you would trust me. I wish you would tell me why you feel this way about yourself.” Her gaze drops to the bed. She can’t even look at me. “The truth is, that I call you Nyx because you are the most enchanting beauty I have ever seen in my life. A goddess sent to torment my tarnished soul. You have so much power over me. Can’t you see that? The way I feel about you terrifies me. I feel like I’m at war with myself on a daily basis, fighting to control the urge to make you mine no matter what the consequences are.” She finally meets my gaze. “Don’t you see? I’m a man that controls everything in my life. You throw that into chaos, while at the same time, craving that control. You need it, and I need to be sure that I can provide it. That I can be the Master you so desperately need. I don’t know if I’m what’s best for you, but the thought of another man being your Dominant…” I fist my hand in the sheets, “it makes my blood boil. I see bloody, murderous red at the very thought of it.”

  She silences me with a gentle kiss. “You are the only man that I want. It’s your dominance that I crave, no one else’s. I’m so in love with you that I can’t even see straight. The reason I’ve never said anything to you over the years, is because I didn’t want to bring my darkness into your life. You’re a good man, and I don’t want to taint that.”

  “Don’t ever think that.” I sit up, pulling her into my arms. “From now on, when we are in a scene, or when I am referring to you as my submissive, I will call you Nyx. This will remind you that you are beautiful to me, inside and out. It will remind you that you hold all the power in our Master/submissive relationship. It will serve to remind you that you are a goddess in my eyes, and that my sole purpose is to see that your needs are met, emotionally, physically, and sexually. Do you understand me… Nyx?”

  “Yes, Master Fitzgerald.”