Endless - Manhattan Knights Series Book Three Page 20

  I stand still, letting him work around me, his brow furrowed in concentration. He stands back to look at the design so far, advising the crowd that you need to check your design periodically for symmetry and aesthetics. He’s sweating from the intensity of his work, and the heat in here, unbuttoning his shirt and throwing it under the table. I can see the women in the crowd, greedily ogling his naked chest; his broad shoulders and exquisitely toned abs, tapering down to the most mouth-watering V that dips below the waist of his pants. I want to claw their eyes out, and I know he can sense my unease.

  He closes the gap between us, and whispers in my ear as he picks up the ropes. “It’s all for you, Nyx. For your hands, your lips, and your pleasure. No one else’s. Not ever.”

  I smile up at him, my heart swelling in my chest, so proud to call him my Master.

  When he completes the knots on my chest, abdomen, and down my arms which are securely fixed behind my back, he lifts me up into his arms, and I relish the momentary intimacy of our contact before he lowers me onto the table.

  “Are you comfortable enough?”

  “Yes, Master Fitzgerald.”

  “I’m going to turn you over onto your front in a moment, but let me know if you get too sore lying on your hands. You have permission to interrupt me with your safe word if you need to. Understood?”

  “Yes, Master Fitzgerald.”

  He returns his focus to the class. “Once you are done with the top half, it’s best to lay your submissive down to finish working on their lower half. With their hands tied behind their back, they could become unsteady on their feet, and also, it gives you the freedom to position their legs to fit your design. For instance, hogtying allows for some very delicate and complex knots. That is how I’m going to bind my sub, this evening. It’s one of the more difficult techniques, so I’ll take it slow, but please come as close as you can and pay close attention.”

  I feel slightly claustrophobic when everyone moves in to watch him work. He gently wraps his arms around me and flips me onto my front. “Pull your feet up to your hands.” I do as he asks, enjoying the feel of his warm hands caressing the length of my legs.

  “Most submissives are not as flexible as Nyx, so you will have to adjust your work to accommodate your own sub’s physical limitations.” He catches hold of the rope that hangs from a knot around my belly button, and is currently resting between my legs. A jolt of electricity shoots to my core when he pulls it tight against my folds, the friction of my panties and the rope pushing me to the edge of orgasm. He adjusts the rope, making sure it’s positioned properly, pressing his fingers underneath my panties and down on my clit. He can feel how wet I am, and I delight in his sharp intake of breath as he lifts his fingers to his lips, licking them clean.

  He continues winding the ropes around my legs, constantly checking that I’m comfortable and that the ropes aren’t too tight. When he’s finished, he moves me onto my side and stands back to admire his work, a look of awe in his eyes as he drinks in the sight of me.

  The crowd applauds him, their eyes fixed on the beauty he’s created on my body. I am desperate to come apart for him, to feel his body pressing down on mine as he takes me to the peak of ecstasy and pushes me over the edge.

  “I’ll give you a few minutes to study the placement of the knots, and the different design options I’ve displayed for you this evening, before I take my leave and reward Nyx for her participation tonight.” He takes a step back, and is immediately accosted by at least half a dozen Dominants with questions about shibari. He keeps me in his sights the entire time, holding my gaze, reassuring me as some observers move closer to study his work. I can feel my heart racing, at the proximity of men that I don’t know. I lock eyes with my Master, and breathe through my fears… and that’s when it happens.

  First one, and then another, start touching me. One is running his hands over the ropes around my torso. The other tracing the ropes up my thighs. I’m frozen in fear. I try to shout for him, but it comes out as a whisper. “Hummingbird.” I find his eyes in the crowd. He can’t see what they’re doing, he can only see my face. “Hummingbird.” I can’t move, I can’t defend myself. I’m terrified. I don’t think he can hear me, but he can see the terror on my face, and he immediately starts pushing through the crowd; his eyes almost black with rage.

  “Hummingbird… Master… Please… Hummingbird… Logan!”

  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” My fist connects with his face, the sound of his jaw cracking resounding in my ear, before I spin around and jab the other guy so hard in the stomach that he drops to the floor, gasping for breath. “What the fuck is wrong with you? I will rip your fucking head off!” I throw another punch, catching the first guy in the ribs this time. “SHE’S MINE, YOU WORTHLESS MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU HEAR ME? You’re not worthy to fucking look at her! How dare you lay a fucking finger on her!” When he stumbles back, trying to scramble away from me like the pathetic asshole he is, I turn my attention back to the other guy, but before I do any more damage, there is one thing, one emotion, that trumps the rage I’m feeling in this moment, bringing me back to what’s important… my love for Vittoria. She needs me, more than I need to exact revenge.

  She’s helpless and sobbing, screaming her safe word over and over, shouting my name in a plea for help. I push everyone out of the way and lift her into my arms. “I’m here, Nyx.” She’s still screaming, unaware that it’s me. “Nyx, listen to the sound of my voice, it’s me, baby. It’s Logan.” I pull her tight against my chest, her body going limp in my arms. “Vittoria… try to focus on my voice. Nothing else. No one is going to touch you. You’re safe. I’ve got you. I’m so sorry”

  I turn to the Master in charge of this fiasco. “Show me to a private room, NOW!” I’m trying to contain my fury, afraid that it will only make this worse for Vittoria. By the time I get her into a quiet room, away from the shouting and fighting going on downstairs, she’s hyperventilating.

  I try to lay her down to check if she’s hurt, but she won’t let go of me, so I cradle her in my arms, soothing her as best I can. “Take a deep breath for me, Vittoria. You need to calm your breathing. Breathe with me… in… and out… in… and out.”

  I turn my gaze to the sorry excuse for a Master, standing in the doorway. “Don’t just stand there, get me a fucking knife to cut her ropes, and bring me a glass of Scotch to calm her nerves.” He turns to leave, and I shout after him. “And hurry the fuck up!”

  I sit, rocking her back and forth, whispering soothing words of my love and devotion for her. Eventually the sobbing subsides and her breathing returns to normal. She doesn’t speak, she just clings to me, like a baby to its mother.

  When Master Incompetent returns, I quickly cut her free and throw the ropes at his feet. I grab the sheet off the bed in the room and wrap it around her, still in my lap.

  “What the FUCK just happened down there? WAS I NOT CLEAR ENOUGH??? I told you that NO ONE touches her. SHE IS MINE, AND NO ONE FUCKING TOUCHES HER!! What kind of sorry excuse for a club are you running here?”

  He’s full of apologies, both in French and English, but it’s too late for that now. I want someone’s head on a spike for this.

  “Who the fuck were those men?”

  His voice shakes as he tries to answer me. “Submissives. They are submissives in training. Their Mistresses were also in the crowd and they have been removed to their private rooms for punishment.”

  “Bring me their Mistresses, now.”

  “Master Fitzgerald. I understand you’re upset, but they will be punished for their actions.”

  I am seeing fucking red right now. “UPSET? You think I’m upset? That doesn’t begin to scratch the surface. I don’t give a fuck what punishment those so-called Mistresses are giving them, it’s not enough. Bring them to me, now, or I swear to God I will search every room in this place until I find them, and I will kill those motherfucking subs.”

  “As you wish, Master Fitzgerald.” He scurri
es off with his tail between his legs, not a dominant bone in his body.

  Alone in the silence, Vittoria finally speaks. “You’re bleeding.”

  “Doesn’t matter.”

  She sits up, taking my hand in hers, kissing my bloodstained knuckles. “You’re bleeding. It matters to me.”

  I pull my hand from her grasp. I don’t deserve her kindness. I let this happen. I should have been by her side the entire time. I shouldn’t have let anyone distract me with their inane questions. “Well, it shouldn’t. It’s less than I deserve. I should be flogged for letting this happen to you. I’m so fucking sorry.”

  “It wasn’t your fault. You’re the one that saved me.”

  “Not my fault? You can’t be serious. I’m supposed to be your Master. To protect you and keep you safe at all times. I failed you. You didn’t even want to come here.”

  “I was apprehensive, but I came willingly.” Her voice turns cold, void of feeling, and it chills me to my core.

  “I shouldn’t have pushed you. Can you ever forgive me?”

  We’re interrupted as the door opens and two French Mistresses walk in with their submissives on leashes behind them. I am so fucking livid at the sight of them, and I would be beating the ever-living shit out of both of those men if it weren’t for Vittoria, cowering in my arms. I can tell just from looking at them, that the woman on the left is the most aggressively dominant of the two, and sure enough, she steps up to speak to me. “We are so sorry, Master Fitzgerald. I am Mistress Giselle and this is Mistress Juliette. These are new submissives in training. They are boisterous and in need of severe and intensive training. We will make sure that they are punished for their actions. It was highly inappropriate and against the rules.”

  “With all due respect… Mistress.” I spit her title with all the vitriol and disdain that I feel for her in this moment. “I don’t give a fuck about the rules here, and apparently neither do your submissives. I don’t give a shit whether they are in training or not. Your job is to set the fucking boundaries. How can you stand here in front of me and call yourselves Mistress? I think you are both in need of some serious fucking training. My submissive is more dominant than you!”

  “Well, maybe that’s something you should be working on with her, instead of passing judgment on us.”

  She has really done it now.

  “HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME, OR MY SUBMISSIVE! She is worth a thousand of you. She is strong-willed, but obedient in every way. Don’t even look in her direction. And as for questioning me, I’m not the one whose submissive was touching a helpless, vulnerable, FUCKING STRANGER! It’s beyond deplorable! What they did here tonight, was against basic human decency. You do not touch anyone in that way, especially in her bound vulnerable state, without their express permission, or that of their Master. There is something seriously fucking wrong with you if you think that this is a training issue. I’m disgusted and horrified that you would play this down as a simple lack of discipline. These men assaulted my submissive, and should be caned until they bleed. I gave STRICT instructions that she must not be touched. You should be ashamed of yourselves, and this club. I will make sure that none of the Masters I know will ever set foot in here again.”

  “What can we do, Master Fitzgerald?”

  “What you can do… Giselle,” I refuse to call her Mistress, she doesn’t deserve the title or the respect it commands, “is get those fuckers out of my sight before I kill them, because the way I feel right now, I would literally rip their beating hearts out of their chests and make them eat it.”

  “I am to be addressed as Mistress, Master Fitzgerald.”

  Her voice is dripping with disdain, but shaking in fear. She should be afraid of me. I have never been so angry in all my life.

  “Well fucking earn it then, because from what I’ve seen here tonight, you’re not fit to have the honor of the title. Now get the fuck out of my sight.”

  They look at each other, shocked and appalled, and scared, before making a quick exit without another word. The club Master remains, only long enough for me to tell him to call me a cab, and get the fuck out.

  My heart is racing, adrenaline coursing through me as I try to calm myself down, Vittoria still nestled quietly in my arms. All I can do is apologize to her, over and over, and it doesn’t escape my attention that she never answers my question – can she forgive me? I don’t blame her. I will never forgive myself.

  It’s not until we’re safely ensconced in our hotel room that Vittoria finally speaks to me. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t ever apologize to me. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

  “I freaked out. Overreacted. It was a trigger for me… for my past.”

  I kneel in front of her as she sits perched on the end of the bed. “Do you want to talk about it?” I place my hands on her legs to offer comfort, but her body tenses underneath me, and it’s a dagger to my heart.

  “I… I can’t. Not tonight. I’m exhausted. I just want to wash off this dirty feeling, and crawl into bed.”

  “Okay. I won’t push you. Just know that I’m here when you’re ready to talk to me. I’ll go and fill the tub for you.” She doesn’t respond, lost in her own thoughts, so I leave her and head to the bathroom.

  I stare at myself in the mirror while the taps are running, wondering who I am, and how I could have let Vittoria down so badly. I scrub my hands over my face and up into my hair, breathing deeply to try and calm the storm raging inside of me. I need to man the fuck up, and be there for her. Whatever she needs from me, I’ll give it to her. Whatever I need to do to make this right, I will.

  She hasn’t moved a muscle in the time I’ve been gone; staring blankly at the wall in front of her.

  “The bath’s ready.” She doesn’t move, or react in any way. I don’t want to startle her. “Vittoria, baby, I’m going to lift you into the bathroom now.” Gently, I wrap my arms underneath her and carry her into the bathroom, carefully undressing her before doing the same myself. I pick her up and step into the tub, slowly lowering both of us down into the water. The silence is deafening, but after a few minutes, I feel her body relax against mine, her head resting on my chest. I grab the sponge from the side of the tub and tenderly lather her skin, washing away the dirt from our disastrous night.

  “I love you, Logan.”

  Those four little words, cut into the silence, causing my heart to swell in my chest, and my stomach to churn with guilt for what happened tonight. I tighten my grip, scared to let her go. “I love you, too, so much I can barely breathe. I… I’m so sorry.”

  “Me, too.”

  “Don’t say…” She cuts me off.

  “Listen to me. I am sorry, because, if I could find a way to open up and tell you about my past, then this might not have happened. I know it’s hard for you, when you don’t know everything about me. You can’t beat yourself up for that. It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known that something like this would happen, or how I would react to it. For that, I’m sorry, but I just can’t. I’m not ready to talk about it.”

  She’s right, but it doesn’t make me feel any better, when the sounds of her screaming for me are so fresh in my mind, tormenting me every second of every minute. If I had known a situation like that could be a trigger for her and cause some sort of panic attack, I never would have put her in that position. I don’t know how to protect her when I don’t know what I’m supposed to be protecting her from.

  “I told you before – as long as you’re working towards telling me, then I need to be okay with that. But, Vittoria, don’t ever do anything because you think it’s what I want, not if it puts you at risk for triggering bad memories. I don’t want you to please me when it’s detrimental to your wellbeing. I love you. Whether you say yes or no to something I ask of you, I will always love you. There is nothing on this earth that would make me stop loving you. You need to know that. Tell me you understand.”

  “I understand, Master.”

  I lift her ch
in, my lips finding hers in a plea for forgiveness, for redemption. “Please, call me Logan. I want to hear my name on your sweet lips.”

  “Make love to me… Logan. I need you tonight. I need to lose myself for a little while, and you’re the only person that can help me do that. Please.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you, or take advantage of you when you’re vulnerable.”

  She caresses my cheek with her bubble soaked hand, her eyes soft and loving. “I’m not hurt. They didn’t hurt me, and they weren’t touching me in a sexual way. They were in awe of your work, which was truly stunning. Mine was an emotional response… to…”

  “To your past.”

  “Yes. You’re not taking advantage of me. I’m asking you to love me. To show me how much you love me, and to help me chase away my nightmares. I want to fall asleep in your arms and enjoy the rest of our time together before we’re separated by oceans and continents again. Please, Logan. Make love to me.”

  “I could never deny you, little one.” I lift her out of the water and dry her off, before gathering her back up into my arms and out into the bedroom.

  We make love into the early hours of the morning; no restraints, no rules, just us and the all-consuming love that we share.

  Three months later

  I extended my trip to Paris, staying another week with Vittoria. I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her after what happened, and I think she was relieved when I told her I wasn’t heading back so soon, although, she would never admit it to me. She always puts up a strong front, very rarely letting her guard down; but when she does, it’s like being given the key to heaven. A breathtaking sight to behold.

  She only had a few days off between shows, but we made the most of them, taking in the sights of Paris. We’ve both travelled to the city before, on numerous occasions, but there’s something about sharing it with someone you love. It transforms into something magical, a true city of romance. We spent hours just walking and talking, holding hands and sipping coffee in the elegant cafés that can be found on every street. It took time, but we found our rhythm; the events at Club Désir, becoming a distant memory as we enjoyed each other as friends, and lovers.