Endless - Manhattan Knights Series Book Three Read online

  “Guess it’s time to turn back into a pumpkin.”

  I stand and pull her into my arms, resting my chin on her head. “You’ll always be a princess to me.” I kiss her hair, inhaling her scent, needing my fix before I have to leave her again. She holds onto me as if her life depends on it, and I can’t make my feet move. I can’t bring myself to let go and leave her behind.

  She’s the one that finally breaks free, putting some distance between us. “You better go. You don’t want to miss your flight.”

  I take her hand in mine as I lift our bags. “I want to miss my flight more than anything in the world right now. I can’t stand the thought of leaving you.”

  She takes her bag from my hand, a resigned look on her face, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. “Come on. I’ll walk with you as far as I can. I actually need to go in the opposite direction for my flight.”

  “How long do you have left to wait?”

  “Six hours.”

  “Fuck! I feel terrible that you’ve done all this for two hours with me.”

  She stops me in my tracks, turns to face me, rising onto her tiptoes, and plants the softest kiss on my lips. Her sweet taste, mixed with the bitterness of her coffee, is a delightful combination. “I would have waited twice as long, just for a glimpse of you.”

  I rest my forehead against hers, trying to calm the storm that rages inside me. “Don’t say things like that to me. I’m already fighting everything inside me that’s screaming at me to stay here with you; telling me that where you are, is where I’m supposed to be.” Her breath quickens and I’m lost in her. Nothing else matters in this moment…only her.

  I’m pulled from my reverie by a voice over the PA system.

  “Could Mr. Logan Fitzgerald please make his way to Gate 16? The gate is ready to close. Passenger Logan Fitzgerald on flight 168 to Berlin, please make your way to Gate 16.”

  “SHIT!”

  “You need to go, Logan, now! Go, I’ll be fine.” I pull her into my arms, unwilling to let her go, but she pushes me away. “GO!”

  She gives me a chaste kiss, turns, and strides away. I can see in her movements that she’s fighting every step that she takes in the opposite direction from me, quickening her pace to stop herself from looking back. I can’t leave her without a proper goodbye. I won’t see her again for two weeks.

  I take off in her direction, grabbing her hand in mine, spinning her round to see the tears streaming down her beautiful cheeks. My bag drops to the floor as my hands reach up to clasp her face, my lips descending on hers in a ferocious kiss, claiming her as mine, devouring her tongue with my own. I bite and suck, nibble and lick her, savoring every delicate flick of her tongue. She submits to me, her body going limp against me as she gives herself over to me, to our intense chemistry.

  “Don’t ever walk away from me without saying a proper goodbye.” She’s breathless and flushed as I pick up my bag, giving her one last kiss before I have to leave. “Goodbye, little one. I’ll see you soon.”

  She’s practically panting as I turn to leave. “I can’t wait.”

  “Me either. Now, I gotta go catch my flight.” I give her a quick slap on the ass, much to her delight, before breaking out in a sprint to my gate.

  I make it to the gate just as the flight attendant is about to close the door, her disapproving look doing nothing to lessen the high I feel with the sweet taste of Vittoria fresh on my lips. She hands me my boarding pass, and wishes me a pleasant flight. When I thank her for waiting for me, and flash her my best dimpled smile, her stern exterior crumbles and she blushes like a giddy school girl. It makes me laugh, only because it makes me think of Vittoria. Her feisty little jealous streak, and her jibes at me for being attractive to another woman.

  As I settle down into my seat for the short flight to Berlin, I find myself lost in thoughts of her, but unlike my flight to London, I have new memories to keep me going, the taste of her on my lips, and the smell of her perfume on my clothes. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that she changed her flight and waited at the airport all that time just to see me for two hours.

  She really is amazing. Far too good for me… but I’m selfish. I need her, and I’ll be counting the days until she’s in my arms again.

  Carter just messaged me to go to dinner at his place tonight, saying that Xander, Lily, and Vittoria would be there. I feel terrible that I already knew I was being invited. I was sitting next to Vittoria when he called her twenty minutes ago and asked her to go. She didn’t mention me, she gave nothing away when he said he was going to ask me to come along. I feel like the worst kind of friend. Not only have we lied by omission, but the last thing I want to do is go to his place tonight.

  It’s been two long weeks since I left Vittoria at Heathrow Airport, and I’ve been counting the days, the hours, and the minutes until I picked her up at the airport an hour ago. We’ve been sitting in traffic, the tension building between us, making it almost impossible to breathe. The air is thick with anticipation, the knowledge that tonight is the night that we will finally be together, in every way possible. It’s a physical presence in the space between us.

  I was going to take her straight to my place, but the current twist of events has thrown a wrench in the works. Instead, I find myself taking a detour and heading toward her apartment, where I’m going to have to leave her, again, even if only for a couple of hours. We’ve arranged to meet at Carter’s place. It’s for the best. If we turn up together, the night will be ruined before it begins.

  As I drop her off and watch her enter the building, disappearing from sight, a strange feeling of dread descends upon me. I thought tonight was going to be all about us. The beginning of three glorious weeks of exploring each other, learning and loving each other’s bodies, and finding out if what we have is the real thing. I already know the answer to that, but I need her to be sure. Suddenly, I feel uneasy about what this time together will bring us. I know that I have to come clean with Carter before we can move forward. If I lie to his face tonight, it will eat away at me, and I know it will make it harder for Vittoria to focus on us if she feels that she’s somehow deceived her older brother.

  I need to approach this the right way if I want to convince him that I’m not going to hurt his little sister. I know that tonight, something is going to go down between us. I’m hoping beyond hope that he’ll see how serious I am about her, that he will see past his preconceptions about the way I treat women, and give me a chance to prove him wrong.

  As I head back to my apartment alone, I can’t shake the feeling that something bad is coming my way. I just hope that I’m overreacting, that I’m just upset that our plans for the night have been derailed after two weeks of waiting and wanting.

  When my cab pulls up outside of Carter’s building, I can feel the tension in my shoulders. I didn’t even notice my hands balled tightly into fists; my knuckles white with the strain. I tell myself that when he sees how I feel about her, he’ll understand.

  I ring the doorbell and wait... Addi answers the door, looking radiant at six months pregnant, searching the hallway for, I don’t know what.

  “Well hello, sexy. Where is the latest drone? I know you have one!”

  As I step inside, I can feel her before I see her. Vittoria’s already here. She’s chatting with Lily, laughing and smiling, but I see the almost imperceptible tremor of her lips and the narrowing of her eyes at Addi’s words. Our eyes connect for the briefest of moments before she turns her head, her body language screaming her discomfort.

  I lean in to kiss Addi on the cheek and hand her the flowers I brought for her. “No drones. There is a new lady in the picture, but I’m not ready to share her with you yet. She’s… important.”

  “O.M.G!!! Lily, Vittoria, did you just hear this??? New York’s very own Casanova has found that special someone! Hearts will be breaking all over town tonight.”

  “Oh shut up! You and Carter weren’t exactly monks before you got together, and look at
you now!” I brush my hand against her growing belly, her cheeks blushing with pride. “Give me a break, will you? I don’t want to mess this one up.”

  “Okay. Just this once, but I expect details later though.”

  I say hello to Lily and Vittoria, but it feels strange not to touch her. I want to pull her into my arms and feel her heartbeat against my chest. Instead, she hands me a beer, her fingertips brushing mine as she tells me that the boys are in the den. My dick twitches at even this smallest of interactions.

  I leave the ladies to their chat, a smile pulling at the corner of my lips as I hear Lily talking. “What do they put in the water around here? All three of those boys are super-freaking-H-O-T! You should have snatched that up, Tori!”

  “I’m pretty sure he’s the one that makes those kinds of decisions. I don’t think any woman would be able to snag Logan Fitzgerald. Not really. Like Addi said, who will the next drone be?”

  My heart sinks. Is she playing a part? Trying not to give anything away about us? Or is that what she believes? That she’s just the next in line.

  I open the door to the den to find Carter and Xander having a heart-to-heart. I can’t take anymore ‘feelings’ tonight so I decide to lighten the mood.

  “I knew it. I leave you two alone for a few months and you’re butt buddies.”

  “Hey, dickhead! How the hell are you? Long time no see!” The guilt washes over me. I’ve been avoiding him like the plague since the wedding.

  “I’m good. Your sister’s here and colluding with your women while you guys have been busy having your lovefest in here.

  Carter’s face lights up. “Vittoria’s here? When did she arrive?”

  “What am I, her damn keeper? I don’t know. I just got here.” That came out so defensive. Could I be any more obvious?

  “It was a simple question. You need to get laid, loosen up a bit.” He has no idea how fucking true that is. I’m going to explode if I don’t get inside of Vittoria soon. My dick is hard just at the thought of it. “Where’s your latest victim? She out talking to the girls?” I stiffen. He’s so close to the truth, and yet a million miles off the mark.

  “No. I didn’t bring her. It’s… complicated.”

  “Complicated? Does she actually have opinions, instead of blindly doing whatever you ask?” I can’t help but laugh. He hit the nail right on the head without even knowing it.

  “You have no fucking idea!”

  I can always count on Xander to offer his support. “Have you met my wife and his girlfriend? Opinionated, bull-headed, and complicated as hell. Welcome to the club!”

  That revelation hits me square in the chest. I’m in exactly the same position as these two idiots. I thought I was all about being in control, keeping my relationships neat and tidy, but I’ve ended up in the same place anyway. Hopelessly in love with a girl who is far too good for me.

  Addi offers a reprieve, interrupting to let us know that dinner is ready. Now all I have to do is get through dinner without declaring my undying love for Vittoria in front of everyone and I can call the night a success.

  Dinner is amazing. The food, the wine, and the company are fantastic. I find myself unable to go five minutes without at least a glance in her direction. It’s so nice to see her having fun and laughing with her friends. She must be able to sense when my eyes are on her, because every time, her eyes find mine. Stolen glances that say a thousand words.

  My ears prick up when the girls start grilling her about her new ‘boyfriend.’ I’m intrigued. I didn’t know that she had been in touch with Addi while we’ve been… seeing each other. Vittoria plays it down, blaming schedules, saying that they haven’t spent much time together, which is true for the most part. Ever the wallflower, Addi won’t let her off that easily. “Oh come on, you can do better than that. You told me last week that he gave you, and I quote, ‘the most phenomenal orgasm you’ve ever had.’”

  Holy. Fucking. Christ!

  There is no way I’m getting out of this alive.

  “What the fuck, Addi? Brother in the room here. I don’t want to hear shit like that. Lucky the son of a bitch couldn’t make it tonight.”

  He turns and stares right at me. “ANY man that lays a finger on my sister, better be prepared to take a severe beating from me.” I hold his gaze. He knows. It’s now or never.

  Vittoria stands up for herself but Carter isn’t interested in what she has to say.

  I need to step in before she says the words that need to come from me.

  “If Vittoria’s happy, surely that’s what matters?”

  The table is silent; everyone is staring at me… waiting. Xander gives me a knowing look, a flash of sympathy in his eyes.

  “No. What matters is that this new guy is clearly not good enough for her. He couldn’t even be bothered to show his face tonight.” So, this is how he wants to play it; force me into admitting it.

  “Or maybe, he’s trying to respect her wishes.” This just angers him further.

  “And why are you such an expert on the guy, LOGAN? Do fucking tell!”

  “Goddammit!” I stand from the table and make my way round to where Vittoria is sitting. “Because it’s me, but you already worked that out, so let’s not play games.”

  Vittoria stands, wrapping her arms around me, and Carter looks about ready to rip my throat out. She pleads with him to give us his blessing, to be happy for us, but it’s a red rag to a bull at this stage.

  “HAPPY??? One of my closest friends has been fucking my little sister behind my back, and I’m supposed to be happy about it?”

  Now, I’m angry. I don’t give a shit what he thinks of me, but he’s disrespecting her now. He knows she wouldn’t just go around ‘fucking’ anyone. She’s not that kind of girl. I step in front of her, my instinct to protect, on high alert. “Don’t talk about her like that, Carter. You know this is more than that, or I would never have let anything happen. We both travel all the time, but we’ve kept in touch since the wedding, and we’ve only seen each other twice since then.” He needs time to process this. “There are no guarantees that we can make this… arrangement… work…” That was the wrong thing to say. I’m so used to using that terminology with my subs, it just sort of slipped out. “But, I want to give it a chance. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, you’re like a brother to me. And I would never hurt Vittoria.”

  He is seething with rage. I haven’t seen him this upset in a long time. “Well if I’m your brother, that would make her your sister, and that makes your ‘arrangement’ just fucking sick.” I knew he would jump on my inept word choice, but this is out of fucking order.

  I move Vittoria out of the way before squaring up to him. He has every right to be angry, but he’s taking it too far. I’m not the fucking devil. I’m his best friend. “Say one more word like that, Carter, and I won’t be responsible for my actions.” Adrenaline courses through my body, my anger reaching boiling point. How dare he talk about her like this. She’s fucking perfect and he shouldn’t be judging anyone. I wouldn’t treat a dog the way he treated women when Addi was gone.

  “Get the fuck out of my house… NOW!”

  I grab Vittoria’s hand and make my way to the door. She doesn’t give any resistance, and I know, she’s with me.

  “Vittoria. Don’t you dare walk out of here right now, especially not with him.” I knew he would take it badly, but I wasn’t prepared for how devastated I feel by his disdain for me right now.

  She holds her head high, her voice even and assured as she delivers her parting words. “I have to go with him, Carter. If you can’t at least try to be happy for me, then I guess we won’t be seeing each other much for a while. Please… don’t make me choose.”

  Xander and Lily look shell-shocked, and Addi looks sympathetic to both Carter, and, Vittoria and me. I give Carter one last glance as I walk out the door. This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen. He’s my family, and the look in his eyes as I leave, tells me that he feels
betrayed.

  I feel so many emotions as I stride down the hallway with Vittoria by my side. I’m so angry I could punch through the walls of this place until my hands can’t take it anymore. The way he spoke about her. He had no right to do that, and I don’t care who he is, he doesn’t get to talk about the woman I love like that.

  I’m worried about her. What this will do to her if we continue on this path. I can’t ask her to choose between her family and me. It would be selfish and wrong. But if I walk away from her, how will that affect her?

  I’m sad that I almost came to blows with my oldest friend. I don’t know how to make things right with him, and until I do, there will be a gaping hole in my life. I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m also fighting to curb my own arousal in this moment, waiting on the elevator to arrive. Thinking of Vittoria, and how she stood her ground… for me. No one has ever done anything like that for me before. Her hand is tight in mine as we stand in silence, the gravity of what has just happened weighing heavily between us.

  She’s the one to break the silence.

  “He needed to know. I can’t live my life for him, Logan. I won’t. I want to be with you. I am yours. I always have been. From the moment we met, I was yours, whether you knew it or not; ready and waiting for the day that we would find our way to each other.” Her voice becomes quiet, a hint of insecurity as she continues. “I know I made a fool of myself to begin with, that I threw myself at you, but I’ve been waiting since the day I met you, to kiss you, to touch you, to feel you inside of me. To be… yours, in every possible way.”

  I can’t believe how vulnerable she looks in this moment. Fragile and unsure of herself. How does she not know that I feel the same way? Didn’t I just prove that? I just gave up the closest thing I have to a brother, to be with her. I’ve obviously not shown her enough, if she doesn’t have faith in the depth of my feelings for her.